Dead Bird and Urine

Yesterday, my sister and I were sweeping the leaves at our dad's yard. For a while, both of us swept the leaves in the front of the yard. Later, I decided that it would be faster to slit up. So I went to the back to sweep while my sister swept the rest of the leaves in the front. When I arrived at the backyard, I discovered a thousand white bird feathers among the leaves. I didn't think much of it, although white birds, including seagulls, don't come to our yard often. Later, I saw a bone of a bird. It was bloody, but the blood was dry. It was white and red. I was afraid. I didn't know what it meant. Then I discovered a bottle in the garden filled with yellow liquid. It was probably urine. I didn't know what that meant either. I threw both of them away in the garbage. What could it all mean? Did someone throw them into our yard because we're Chinese? What should I have done? Should I have called the police? I don't want to talk to anyone about it.

Why would anyone do that? Why would anyone throw urine and a dead bird into our yard? I didn't find the remains of the body, and I'm not sure if they're there. But I don't want to find out.

But maybe those people think our family is a bad family. Maybe that's why they threw those things into our yard. I have no idea who it was. I don't know if I want to find out. I just want to forget about it and move on. I don't want these memories to haunt me anymore. I ask myself, "Why me?" Why did I have to see them? But then again, I'm glad it was me who saw them because I don't want anyone else in my family to. I want to just forget about everything.

image from : http://www.johnthaw.topcities.com/images/Ghosts5/Ghost091307.jpg

My First Attraction...

When I was a junior in high school, which was about two or one and a half years ago, I had a seminary teacher, Sister Durr (name has been changed). Toward the middle of the year, I started to notice this slight attraction to her. I did not know what it was. I just saw her as a tall, beautiful lady at whom I liked to look. After a time of thinking about it, it crept into my mind that I was probably attracted to her...sexually. I was afraid that I had done something wrong. I was afraid that I was to be cut off from the Church. In desparation, I asked my sister if it was possible. Her reply was, "I don't think so."

So I took that as an answer. I tried to ignore those feelings, and yet they persisted. I figured that it really was a "crush," just a feeling. Then I thought to myself that if it was a crush, then it probably was not that bad. Maybe it was not the result of transgression. I did not feel that I had done anything wrong.

But for a while, I wanted to die. When it came to my mind that I probably had a crush on this seminary teacher, I just wanted to die.

Now, however, after reading books from members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints about same-gender attraction, I decided that this was just one of my struggles in life. We will all have struggles. Not all of them will be the same. Not everyone is going to struggle with this struggle. Not all of us will struggle with cancer, anemia, bad relationships, death of close family, death from suicide, depression, "bad luck," or many other of the struggles through which others go.

But we all know this: we are ALL children of God. He knows us. He sent His Son to die for us so that He can be able to know the best way to succor us. And He will succor us. I know it.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"God knows you and what you can become because He has known you from the beginning when you were His spirit sons and daughters" (Ensign, March 2001, 12). President James E. Faust

"He Loveth His Children..."

"And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Ne. 11:17).

This is a beautiful scripture in which Nephi tells the angel with whom he is speaking that he had a testimony of God's love for him and everyone else, but that he had weaknesses, including the weakness that he did not understand, or even know, the meaning of all things. This powerful testimony teaches us that God does, indeed, love all of us, but not all things will be made known to us right now. We all need to learn line upon line, just as Christ did.

We all should shoot for this testimony. We need to have faith that our Heavenly Father loves us. However, we should also know that He will not always let us know everything right now. For many things, we need to wait for a while before we can understand. These things include dinosaurs, exactly how the Earth was created, why some things happen to us and not to others, why the children in Africa, or even the children here, need to die.

A long time ago, we were all with the Father. We lived with Him; we knew Him; we knew Jehovah, who is now known as Jesus Christ; we knew Lucifer, who is now known as Satan; we all knew each other. Our Father knew us, and He still does. Now we all here on Earth for the sole purpose of becoming like God. He is still our Father. He loves us all, no matter what we do.

I hope that each person on Earth will one day understand God's love. He does, indeed, love us all. Do not ever forget this one great doctrine.